mom was right -- once

My hand is peeling. I eye it. Why would my hand be peeling? I have not been out in the sun really, I have not burned myself --

Oh. Wait. There was that "battery acid" incident.

I thought battery acid was just made up by my mother to terrorize me right before she made me go take batteries out of things. I have never actually seen battery acid or any evidence of battery acid's existence ever before and did not really believe in "battery acid," but there I am taking batteries out of a gadget [not a sex toy you pervs] and the little part that snaps open has some liquid on it on the inside and I am thinking, That is weird, where did that come from? Were my hands wet? And trying to wipe it off, and thinking, hmm, this liquid spot is sort of shaped like a battery, and I find more inside the gadget and ON the batteries I just knocked into my hand and I am thinking, This is really weird, gee, I hope this is not "battery acid," ha ha Mom --

When my hands get really mad really fast anywhere this stuff has touched them like they want to be rinsed off AND RIGHT NOW DAMMMIT.

Wow. Battery acid. Who knew?

super hero mark

Okay super hero Mark is coming to help me hang more stuff and also, he has all the hardware to do it. This is kind of shocking to me I do not even know how to pronounce this stuff, fear being mocked in a hardware store trying to ask for it, and have no idea how or why anyone would just happen to have it lying around. It is special widgets for supporting and embedding things in concrete which, you know, I do not just have in the desk drawer next to the paper clips. I figure most people do not. I say, Mark, what exactly do you do? He is a VP at a construction company. Apparently, Mark built bridges and stuff in his youth and now tells other people how to do that. Real bridges. You know, like the kind cars drive over to cross rivers and gorges and stuff? And, they do not fall down? This explains why Mark could just singlehandedly whip up a second story to his tall ceilinged loft using metal beams. Holy cow.

oh. holy. jesus.

The upstairs neighbor has an electric drum set.

This guy is an insomniac. And he has a lot of toys. He gets them shipped in by train I think. Some of them are more traumatic than others. Like. When he got new ski boots, he thought the appropriate action was to put them on every night and hop. Over and over again. On a concrete floor. Until 5 am in the morning. For three nights running. Until I tracked that easter bunny down and talked to him about hopping at 5 am on concrete floors in ski boots.

Now. A drum set. An. Electric. Drum. Set.

What kind of !@?!! sets up an electric drum set in an apartment? You put a drum set in a garage. You put a drum set in a sound studio. You do not put a freaking electric drum set in an apartment with neighbors one wall away. I do not care if they call it a "loft." It has attached walls.

He is chagrined I have a problem with the drum set.

weekend dog

I am walking back from the farmer's market and a car pulls up next to me. It is my neighbor Mark. Mark is really nice he helped me hang pictures on concrete walls which is kind of tricky. He is also usually dressed way down when I see him around the building so it is startling to have Mark pull up next to me in a Jag. A Jag? Wow, Mark, who knew? More startling than the Jag is a little dog in the front seat. I say, Mark, I did not know you had a dog. He doesn't. It belongs to the young girl in the back seat who is his daughter. I have heard about the daughter. I did not know about the dog. So this must be Mark's weekend with his little girl. And her dog.

This is very funny to me. I know people get weekend visitation rights with children. I just did not know the dog comes with. It makes sense. If I was traveling between parents, I would take my dog. It cracks me up.

unfortunate moment #3,00,457.19

From the land of truly bad typos, a really unfortunate Easter greeting sent to a student:

"Happy Eater Bunny."

It does not help this student is a lesbian.

that goofy website

Seemaxrun got 12,000 unique visitors last month. Probably because I left town for a week. Whenever I leave town it is a 10,000 month for the site. I do not know why. It just works that way. [Say, I wonder what would happen if I left the country?]

This seems like a lot of visitors for some simple little writer's website. In the grand scheme of things it is not big numbers. But for a personal site it is. At least to me.

Jeez, I guess I should make myself more presentable or something with that many people stopping by.

Excuse me, I have to go shave my legs.

Your Not Presentable by Half Adams Girl